In anger, sadness. (But not really...)

I recently spoke with an unnamed friend who made me feel like a complete psychotic for choosing to be a stay-at-home mom. How could I stand to be alone with nothing but the sound of my own voice and a crying baby? How can I just 'sit around' all day doing nothing but caring for an infant? Clearly my brain must have permanently shrunk to nothingness during pregnancy and stayed that way. I was once educated- slightly brainy, even. What happened?

At first I was angry with this person. I don't judge her choices; why is she judging mine? It was already a painstaking decision to stay home, taking its toll socially, financially, etc. I don't need a friend to question it further. Then I sat down to read to you, Caelan, and felt pure sadness for this friend.

I got to watch your eyes viewing the pages of a new book for the first time, full of wonder and amazement. (Unfortunately, the book was Hop on Pop... perhaps Dr.Seuss's crappiest work ever.) I felt sad for this friend who might not know the satisfaction of reading countless numbers of books every day to their child. Since the day you were born, I have been dying for some recognition, and finally achieving it was huge for me. I read to you multiple times every day and practice sign-language constantly; finally seeing some recognition for these efforts feels like winning an Olympic gold medal. My poor friend doesn't know this satisfaction because she drops her kid off at Daycare at 8am and picks her up just a couple of hours before bed-time. Someone else is getting to experience these victories for her.

And then I realized: How dare I!?! I AM judgemental and I need to stop. Pity is every bit as offensive as her comments! The bottom line: every individual and every family is completely different. You just need to do what works best for you and yours. If your family is healthy and happy, then your needs are being met- Kudos to anyone who can accomplish this, by whatever means necessary! For my family, this means me at home. It IS the toughest job I've ever loved and by far the most gratifying. I can't wait for the challenges ahead. I have not lost my mind, my wit or my intelligence. I simply feel more fulfilled at the moment by teaching my own child than teaching someone else's. Respect that, and I'll respect whatever your family does. We're all doing what we think is best. Who can scoff at that?