Damn. Keep forgetting to do this.

Plugged Ears. Clogged nose. This sucks.

Saw Deepak Chopra yesterday. Amazing gifts.

Challenge

I think I may have come up with the challenge that I was looking for. I stumbled on a book entitled 'Not Quite What I was Planning', which is comprised of 6-word memoirs written by famous and obscure writers. I think it would be a fun challenge to come up with a daily six word memoir. Short and sweet, just a quick and (possibly) clever conveyance of how the day was in general. When I have time and energy I will write more than these 6 words, of course.

Today;
First Day With No Second Job.

For over a year I have been providing childcare for a friend and former Montessori parent. I have been feeling horribly unreliable recently due to Caelan's poor health and we decided to take a break so that she can use someone more dependable than I can be at the moment. (Also so that Caelan can have an opportunity to rest and get well without me dragging him out all day long twice a week.) It is going to be very difficult to pinch pennies and figure out a way to recoup the lost income but we'll get by. We always do.

Yes, dear boy, your health has been in the crapper this year. You had an exploratory procedure last week, an overnight stay in the hospital and now, an infection in your lungs to show for it. The doctor thinks it is the result of being intubated. You are miserable, haven't eaten in 4 days and were rocking a 104.6 fever until today. It seems like the antibiotics are finally kicking in and starting to do their job... THANK GOD. Hopefully, one day, we will look back on this posting and will have a hard time remembering how awful this situation has been. Ugh.

Ok. Enough. I am doing my best at the moment to pretend that I am not getting sick right now as well. I am not getting sick, I am not getting sick, I am not getting sick...

What? It's January? Of 2010?

Well, well, well. Here I am again. Stuck trying to come up with an excuse for not writing recently. I could say that the holidays were busy. I could say that we've been stressed at work. I could say that we've been feeling overwhelmed with worry over Caelan's surgery. I won't. There have been a hundred times when I've sat here with nothing better to do and just couldn't summon the energy or enthusiasm. I'll own it. Oh well. Better late than never, I guess.

The holidays of 2009 have now come and gone... during which we lost a beloved member of our family. Grammie (Your great-grandmother Gertrude Roberts, Caelan) passed away on December 26th and we all miss her dearly. She is now in heaven watching all of us work and play and enjoy our lives.

...And we are enjoying life. We took a wonderful Cropper family vacation to Disney World just after Christmas and had lots of fun. I will admit that the struggles ALMOST outweighed the fun, but, c'mon, we were at Disney. All in all, suffice it to say that I will never bring an 18 month old to Disney World at Christmastime again. The air travel, the crowds, the crying, the whining, the screaming. Caelan didn't hold up well either. (Ba dum chhh) It was, of course, all worth while to see the fam. I can't wait for February break to see them again.

So, dear Caelan, lets talk about you. You are 19 months old. You are adorable, affectionate, hilarious and fancy free. There isn't much to not like. You are ridiculously strong and athletically inclined. You can hold yourself up on a chin-up bar, climb up and down stairs with no help and run like a madman. Your laugh is infectious and your smile is to die for. I love you kiddo.

We've still been trying to make a baby brother or sister. No dice this month either. Next Friday I have my first acupuncture appointment. I hope they can help us.

I feel as though I need to brainstorm a new challenge for myself in order to increase my entries. We'll see what I can come up with.

Today I am grateful for my health. I have been taking very close care of what I eat lately and I am feeling better than I have in a long, long time as a result. I haven't had ANY sugar or dairy in almost 2 weeks. Never thought I'd see the day. It is paying off. We'll see how long I can hang in there.

Somehow, in chaos of the school year, blogging 'once a week, at least' has turned into blogging once per month. That means I start again for my bucket list goal. Here goes...

I'm feeling a bit sad these days. We have been trying to get pregnant for going on 5 months now and the disappointment is starting to ware on me. I know that this span of time might seem laughable to some, but we were able to get it on the first try with Caelan and fertility issues are a HUGE fear of mine. (Many women with Celiac Disease have difficulty with fertility.) My heart breaks for all of the women out there who battle fertility issues for years on end or who have trouble maintaining a pregnancy. I cannot even fathom the heartache. We are going to stop actively 'trying' for a while, get my health, etc. in a good place and pick back up again in a few months. We'll see what God has planned.

I just realized that I have been keeping this blog for over a year now... I just recalled the picture I posted of Caelan in his little pumpkin costume last Halloween. So adorable. This year was much more difficult... getting a 16 month old to hold still for much of anything is nearly impossible. Needless to stay, the eyeliner beard and mustache for this year's pirate costume were a challenge! Regardless, you were the cutest little pirate ever to walk the plank.

There is much to write about but little energy to spare at the moment. My book and my bed are looking very inviting and I think I should give in. It has been a long week.

I really will put forth some effort to pick up my entries again. The realization that I have been doing this as long as I have will be motivation enough! I feel so proud! I don't think that any of the journals I have attempted in the past have lasted longer than a few months, at best.

I guess I finally have something worth writing about, hey?

Today, and always, I am thankful for my family. My desire for and failure to create another child has made me so, so appreciative of my Caelan. Where would I be without you? I love you so much, kiddo. You and daddy are my everything.

Fall is here: hear the yells, back to school, ring the bell

Ahhhhh, Sweet September. The air is crisp and so are the leaves and apples. We have moved into one of my favorite seasons. Heavenly autumn has arrived.

While it has taken a few weeks to adjust to our new schedules, I think that we have a nice routine in place now. I am the new Program Director for After Hours at Montessori, which means that I get to be at home all day with Caelan and then work for a few hours in the afternoon when Daddy's day is done. It works out beautifully. I am happy to be back at school, as I have missed the children and practicing the pedagogy but I can't say that I wouldn't rather be home, either. All in all, we're going to be ok here. We have a little more money flowing in and I don't have to compromise on being an at-home mom. Win-win. Smiles all around.

Caelan, you are beacon of a joy and laughter. I look at you and can't help but smile. You have such a terrific sense of humor and I am brimming over with love for you. You love being outside- too much- and love to make other people laugh. You can say mama, dada, apple, more, all done, yeah and hello. And a million other things in your own secret language. You can identify 8 body parts. You can run, climb stairs while holding on to a railing, and lift things that weigh half as much as you. You are an unbelievably determined child and I hope you never lose this characteristic. (Even though it gives me hell sometimes.) You amaze us every day and we love you more than you'll ever know.

Today the whole family participated in the first annual Heather's Teal Ribbon Walk. It was a walk to raise funds and awareness for Ovarian Cancer in honor of my dear departed friend Heather Weeks. Thanks for helping the rain hold off, Heather. We love you and miss you. Keep shining up there. Your mom and lots of other people are working really hard to continue your work down here. Lots of love, money and prayers went to your cause today.

Does it make me sound like a crazy person, that I address people throughout the content of my blog? Oh well. I am writing this for my children, so to me it makes sense that I would address them. So I don't care what you think. Never mind. And to my children who will read this someday: you must already know that I am a little crazy, so why should you be surprised?

Ok. Laundry beckons.

Today I am thankful for having had the pleasure of knowing Heather Weeks. I will celebrate your life as often as possible and continue your fight against cancer in whatever ways I can. Thanks for visiting me in my dreams so often.